It’s been a busy year for the New Atheists – best selling books, lectures, debates, ad campaigns – and it’s time to honor all their hard work. The bar was set pretty high in 2007, and last year’s winner Kathy Griffin (“Suck it, Jesus!”) is definitely a tough act to follow. But this years crop is just as juicy. Here are the winners for 2008 – the quotes that best exemplify the message of the New Atheism.
#10) Colin, The Angry Atheist, blogger:
“These people are stark raving f**king mad. And i don't believe for a minute that given the
chance, collectively(?), we wouldn't all be cleansed by fire in the town square. They seem to be working toward that very goal in a collective and organised manner”
Colin The Angry Atheist is a relative newcomer. In fact, this was his first and only blog entry – ever! But it didn’t take long for this "rookie of the year" to expose the theocratic conspiracy to burn all atheists in public. As Colin says, “It’s terrifying!”
#9) Ariane Sherine, comedy writer, founder of Atheist Bus Campaign:
“There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.”
Who says atheists don’t give to charitable causes? Ariane collected over $100,000 from generous, good natured British atheists. And not for some lame “feed the hungry” charity either. Ariane is spending it on something really important – convincing her fellow Brits that their lives are meaningless accidents. Bob’s yer Uncle, Ariane!
#8) Peter Singer, Philosopher:
“If people need to have gods, then, (the late Princess) Diana isn’t a bad one to have. She did try in her own way to do some good in the world, and that isn’t a poor example to set. Plus, there seems little danger that a Temple of Diana would try to impose on its adherents a repressive morality that made them feel guilty about sex.”
Worshipping God? Bad. Worshipping Diana? Not bad! We’re not sure though if Diana would have shared Pete’s “guilt free” tolerance of man/sheep relationships. But then, Pete can be a VERY persuasive speaker!
#7) Pat Condell, stand up comedian: (On The Water Of Life)
“If the water of your life gets together with the water of other people’s lives, and they form a deluge, a rushing torrent of righteous certainty that sweeps all before it including reason, well it’s not so much the water of life anymore is it? It’s rapidly turning into the water of death as everything in it’s path is crushed – original thought, rational inquiry, free speech and their tattered remnants are strewn upon the rocks of scripture and blind dogma.”
Pat Condell is the answer to every whining theist who complains that atheists are humorless dolts. Pat is a "Top 100" YouTube draw and entertains crowds all over Britain with his jokes and rib ticklers like this! Thanks Pat for making atheism fun again!
#6) Penn Jillette, comedian, illusionist, juggler:
Ever the entertainer, Penn’s breathtaking reading of the “Blasphemy Challenge” at the TAM convention was simply one of his most memorable performances ever.
#5) Richard Dawkins, writer:
“It is evil to describe a child as a muslim child or a Christian child….
Do not ever call a child a muslim child or a Christian child – that is a form of child abuse…”
When a young Richard Dawkins had his noodle doodled by a priest, it was good for a chuckle or two with his classmates. But don’t you dare call a child a “Christian” in front of him – he has little tolerance for REAL child abuse. Rumor has it Richard is writing a book for children that exposes the insidious and harmful lies behind the Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy myths. Go get ‘em Richard!
#4) Henry Rollins, musician:
"These Christian fundamentalist psychotics are so power-mad they will stop at nothing – willful ignorance, intimidation, and suppression of information are their tools… THE NEW DARK AGES ARE UPON US!!"
Henry's calculated scientifically reasoned approach is devastating to theists everywhere. It's not hyperbole IF YOUR RIGHT, right?
#3) Dan Barker, Freedom From Religion Foundation: (On the Washington nativity display)
“We have a holiday. Before even this country started this time of year is the winter solstice. It’s a natural season. The Christians basically stole the season from us human beings by using the hate speech of the nativity scene which damns all of us to hell if we don’t bow down to that little baby who became the dictator.”
We’re so grateful that we have Dan as the voice of calm reason amidst this storm of controversy. Amen, Dan, and “At this season of the winter solstice may reason prevail”!
#2) Sam Harris, writer:
“Like every candidate, Obama must appeal to millions of voters who believe that without religion, most of us would spend our days raping and killing our neighbors and stealing their pornography.”
Yes, it’s simply stating the obvious, but no one seems to state the obvious as eloquently as this “fourth horseman” does. You are a true national treasure, Sam!
And the #1 quote of 2008:
“IT’S A F**KING CRACKER!”
Congratulations and “Happy Monkey” to all of our contestants for a fantastic year!!