Climatologist Investment Manager Bernie Madoff Phil Jones gets a FOIA request for information visit from the S.E.C.

S.E.C. OFFICER: Mr. Jones, I'll need to look over your financial records.

JONES: No Problem. I've got my set of books right here. Slightly altered, adjusted, fudged, and homogenized.

S.E.C.: Well in that case we'll also need to see your raw data.

JONES: What? You don't trust my books?

S.E.C.: It's just tha-

JONES: Look here, jerk, I'll have you know that I've shown my results to some of the most important and influencial people in the world and they absolutely love what I've done! They fly me all over the world to talk about my work…

S.E.C.: Do your books include any tricks to hide the decline of your assets?

JONES: Do I look like an amateur to you? Of COURSE they do.

S.E.C. In that case I'll need to see your raw data. Cancelled checks, invoices, that sort of thing.

JONES: Hah! Good luck with that!

S.E.C.: What?

JONES: I destroyed those years ago!

S.E.C.: You destr-?!?

JONES: I was moving to a new office. Didn't have room for all those boxes of data. I've got an office to run – do you think I want my office cluttered up with boxes and boxes of financial documents?!?

S.E.C.: This is highly irregular…

JONES: Cry me a river. Anyway, it was my data. I'm entitled to trash my own data.

S.E.C.: Technically it was the government's data. They paid for it.

JONES: Then tell the government all the records exist. Just contact all my clients from the last 30 years and piece it all together.

S.E.C.: Can we have your client list?

JONES: Sorry, they are private parties protected by client privelege.

S.E.C.: Sigh. You haven't been accused of anything yet Mr. Jones, why are you being so uncoopera-

JONES: Why you little jerk! I hope you die! I hope you die horribly just like that other idiot who didn't like my work. What a great day that wa-

S.E.C.: Ok, anyway, I'll also need to see any email correspondence with your wife about these financial reports.

JONES: Hah! I deleted them.

S.E.C.: You deleted th-???

JONES: And I told my wife to delete hers too.

S.E.C.: You want to tell me why?!?

JONES: Cause you jerks were snooping around!!!

S.E.C.: Ummm…there's a few red flags raised by all this.

JONES: Why you little jerk! I know some very important people! I'm going to see to it that you never get to publish another report in this town!!

S.E.C.: I know.

JONES: What do you mean you know?!?

S.E.C.: That threat was in one of the emails that you forgot to delete.

JONES: Oh.

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