Behold the orange. Being perfectly round, it has no sharp edges with which to poke you in the eye if it happened to fall from the tree. Note how easily it fits into the palm of my hand. And it even comes with its own biodegradable wrapper! To open it, you"¦..hey wait, the thing doesn't have a tab! Where's the dagburnit tab?!
Ah, behold the thumbnail. Note how it so perfectly punctures the biodegradable wrapper and…..for cripes sake! The thing just shot acid into my eye! Behold the bloodshot eye:
Back to the drawing board.